Garrett Coan, LCSW
NJ Marriage Counseling: Healing Couples For Over 20 Years
Are You Frustrated and Unhappy in Your Relationship?
My marriage Counseling NJ Practice Helps Couples Heal and Grow
None of us enter a relationship expecting to face painful issues and problems. We say to ourselves that we’ll defy the statistics and avoid the pitfalls other couples face. However, when the honeymoon phase is over, something unanticipated occurs. Whether it involves disputes over intimacy, money, kids, chores, or insufficient time together, we start engaging in a cycle of destructive communication and behavior. Before you know it, you and your partner feel distant, bitter and hopeless. However, you should know there is way to heal, reconnect and rebuild your relationship.
The great news is that in my marriage counseling NJ practice I can help the two of you begin to trust, respect and enjoy each other once again. I have have helped countless couples restore a sense of warmth, comfort, safety and connection in their marriages. Relationships are tough. Even the best ones go through difficult struggles and challenges. Maybe you’re trying to recover from an affair or suspect your partner of infidelity. Perhaps financial stress has led to chronic tension and arguments. Maybe your relationship is simply stagnant and lacking vibrancy and joy.
In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help help couples like you cultivate a relationship that is trusting, warm and fun. You and your partner deeply desire the feeling of contentment that comes with caring for and relying on one another. You yearn for the satisfaction of being best friends for life. I can help you get there. If you and your partner are ready to identify and change your destructive attitudes and communication patterns, then I can help you obtain a happy and loving marriage.
I can help your relationship if: You argue all the time; You can’t seem to resolve your differences in a respectful manner. Ineffective and hurtful communication continues to eat away at your relationship on a daily basis.
You’re emotionally drained; You feel victimized and trapped. You used to believe that things would get better and your partner would change. However, things are only getting worse.
Your intimacy and connection have faded; Affection and sex hardly ever take place. You feel insecure in how your are perceived by your partner and have lost the sense of being understood and cared for.
You feel frustrated, lonely and frightened; It scares you to think you might have to live this way forever.
You feel hopeless and depressed; You want to save your relationship but you don’t know how.
My marriage counseling NJ practice can help you repair your wounded relationship. It doesn’t matter how much conflict or distance currently exist in your relationship. You too can learn skills in effective communication and emotional intimacy. Countless couples have been helped by my marriage counseling NJ practice. You can finally experience a loving and meaningful relationship which you yearn for and truly deserve.
Effective Communication is the Heart and Soul of a Healthy Relationship
Is Infidelity Ruining Your Relationship?
Discovery of infidelity triggers shock and anger which then leads to a powerful sense of betrayal and rejection. I will support the victim as he or she works through these feelings of hurt, anger and sadness. I will also help the cheater take ownership of his or her behavior while validating their own feelings of frustration, hurt and sadness. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help both parties recognize the vulnerabilities in their relationship that led to the cheating and what aspects of the relationship need fixing to prevent infidelity in the future.
Do You Find Yourself Holding Onto Grudges and Resentment?
If you or your partner hold grudges in your marriage, it is a sign of dissatisfaction and instability in the relationship. The strength of a marriage depends on both partners’ ability to forgive one another. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help couples work through their anger and hurt so they can truly forgive and let go.
Is Your Relationship Characterized By Constant Bickering?
It is only natural that couples won’t agree on everything. However, if disagreements are hardly ever discussed in a rational and compromising tone, feelings of positivity and warmth in the relationship will dissipate. If you or your partner feels disrespected or patronized when expressing disagreement, then you need help learning more effective communication skills. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help couples develop a greater ability to negotiate and compromise. I will also show you how to agree to disagree while maintaining a tone of understanding and respect.
Are Conflicts Over Money Affecting Your Relationship?
Sometimes a relationship is negatively impacted by conflicts over money. Couples often differ in their views of money and their spending habits. One partner may be frugal and cautious in their purchasing decisions. They may prefer to save rather than spend. The other partner may be more spontaneous and liberal in their purchases, viewing money as a means to enjoy life. Another potential pitfall involves couples becoming terratorial and adversarial over money, arguing over who is paying more of the household expenses. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I can help the two of you understand and work through these sticky issues.
Are Your Children Caught in The Middle?
Do you find yourself fighting with your spouse over issues surrounding your children? It is not uncommon for an unhappy relationship to lead to a situation whereby children become the focal point of conflict. Differing approaches to child rearing such as methods of discipline become a source of tension and dispute. Sometimes one party or both parties will subconsciously recruit their children as allies. Being co-opted in such a fashion is detrimental to the emotional wellbeing of children. Moreover, where such covert collusion occurs, children learn that they can split the parents and manipulate them into getting what they want. This process, in turn, only further exacerbates marital discord. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help couples formulate a unified approach to their children so as to avoid alliances and splitting.
Do You Find It Very Difficult to Tolerate Your Partner’s Personality and Idiosyncrasies?
No two people are the same. Our preferences and habits are a reflection of our uniqueness. Sometimes, couples come to view “difference” as irreconcilable incompatibility. This outlook can lead to frustration and resentment over time. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help couples understand how differences in style and perspective can sometimes promote personal growth in a relationship. In addition, I help couples appreciate how one partner’s strength can compensate for another partner’s weakness (and vice versa).
Empathize and compromise
Acknowledge that difference does not mean better or worse. Recognize the uniqueness in your spouse and you will learn how to empathize with them better. This is a foundation of happy marriage and what forms the cornerstone of marriage counseling.
Be giving and thoughtful
Make a point of marking special milestones such as birthdays and anniversaries with heartfelt cards, creative gifts and taking him or her out to a nice restaurant. Do simple chores to lighten your spouse’s load.
Learn to say “I am sorry”
When you realize you have made a mistake, swallow your pride and admit it. Apologies are the healing balm in a relationship. Your spouse will love and respect you for your ability to say “I am sorry about what I said or did. I was wrong.”
Nothing is more healing for a marriage than saying “I made a mistake. Please forgive me.” It may even be wise to apologize even when you feel you were in the right. When it comes to your marriage, don’t stand on ceremony and let your ego get in the way. Humility and a willingness to apologize is the way to go.
What to Do When You Discover Infidelity
When you discover that your partner has cheated, you’re initial reaction may be one of shock, anger and sadness. You will likely feel betrayed and rejected. Any sense of trust in your partner will greatly diminish. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I seek to uncover the underlying causes of infidelity in your relationship. Usually both the cheater and the victim are very unhappy in the marriage or may have an undiagnosed psychiatric disorder/ addiction. Oftentimes the boundaries, roles, and communication patterns within the relationship are compromised. When the marital bond is under significant duress, each spouse is vulnerable to pursuing emotional support elsewhere. In my marriage counseling NJ practice, I help prevent infidelity by improving communication, empathy and understanding. By enhancing the couple’s ability to express their feelings and needs, freely and non-defensively, I help make infidelity a less attractive option.
What People Are Saying
I had the pleasure of collaborating with Garrett on a number of clients. I can tell you that he is an excellent therapist. He is very warm and develops a strong rapport with people. Most importantly, he is highly skilled at helping individuals and couples work through the issues that stand in the way of greater happiness and fulfillment. I highly recommend him to anyone seeking to improve their relationships or quality of life.
He’s great, loved our session and we are looking forward to continue working with him. Highly recommend him.
I had the pleasure of working with Garrett for several years and witnessed his commitment and compassion to his work and his clients. Garrett has experience working with adults, couples, families and children struggling with stage of life issues to more problematic behavioral health problems. Regardless of the severity of the problem Garrett’s approach was always compassionate, caring and dedicated. He is a skilled clinician that I would certainly recommend.
Garrett Coan is a respectful, professional therapist. He is a good listener, is easy to talk to and is able to create open dialogue. He is non-judgmental and has experience working with people of all ages and backgrounds.
I worked with Garrett for three years and found him to be a caring and effective therapist. He works hard to empower each of his clients to find the right path for themselves whether he is working with children, adults, or couples. Whether you are considering therapy for the first time or have been in treatment before, I can highly recommend Garrett’s supportive approach.
Garrett is a skilled and experienced clinician. He thinks “outside the box” and comes up with creative ways to help people overcome their challenges. Garrett’s concern for each client is evident in the caring approach he takes. I highly recommend Garrett as an excellent therapist.
I worked with Garrett and I have to say he is a wonderful clinician. He has great insight into clients and has a variety of solutions to offer clients. He is very professional and cares about his clients. I would highly recommend Garrett to anyone that is dealing with issues and would like assistance to change!
Garrett is a warm, compassionate, thoughtful and experienced psychotherapist. I recommend him highly to anyone looking for couples, family or individual therapy.
I’ve had the pleasure of working with Garrett for about 3 years now and I find him to be very passionate about his work with clients. His caring, supportive and friendly nature make him easy to get along with. He works with all ages- including families, couples, and groups, and is eager to help his clients work through any struggles they may be facing. I would highly recommend Garrett as a therapist!
I have worked with Garrett for a number of years and he has continuously proven to be a knowledgeable and caring therapist. He has the experience and skills to work with all clients ranging from individual adults to couples to children and families. Throughout the course of therapy, Garrett helps clients to overcome their unique barriers and obstacles so that they can move forward, more confidently with their lives. I would recommend Garrett to anyone who is struggling and in need of a helping hand. Charles Smith, MSW, LSW
I currently work with Garrett and find that he is a compassionate clinician who is truly concerned about the well-being of his clients. Garrett is experienced working with clients of all ages, as well as couples counseling and groups. Garrett is open-minded and adaptive making him able to partner with clients through the life stage changes and difficult situations we all face. I highly recommend Garrett if you are looking for a therapist. Carlo Salgado-Russo MSW LSW